Julia Smellie
Preparing to Go Out
On a March afternoon
when wind flattens daffodils
I open a drawer
still full of her possessions.
In a cigarette tin rattle rusty pins
once held tight in her lips
as she bent over the sewing machine,
intent on keeping up with fashion.
I take out her bathing hat
floppy with rubbery flowers.
We would run over cold daisies
to swim before breakfast.
I dived and swirled round her legs,
then dazzled by the tablecloth
we spooned out grapefruit
and spread toast with plum jam.
In a pile of loose change
perhaps gained backing horses,
lies her Newmarket member's badge,
cardboard worn at the edges.
As she prepared to go out
she'd tip her head to fix earrings,
then dab her face with feathered puff
so powder flew, sweetening the air in her wake.
I would make my own lunch,
trying to study, as apple blossom
blew onto gravel.
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