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Jim Burns

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Library Books

And now they’ve computerised the library,
and the check-out system registers the titles
of the books you borrow. Which is useful,
it helps the librarian, you think, but one day
you hear a knock at the door, and you open it
and two men is dark suits are standing there.
They have a list, they say, of what you’ve read,
and when, and they’d very much like to come in.
So, the interview goes this way: “Mr Smith,
why would someone like you be interested in
a book on the history of ladies’ underwear?”
It seemed a likely subject to delve into,
you say, and they exchange significant glances.
“Well, Mr Smith, perhaps you’d like to explain
what was so fascinating about a lengthy treatise
on the English trout ?” You reply, the mysteries
of the deep shouldn’t be limited to lobsters,
at which they smile knowingly, and move on to
the main question. “Tell us about your concern
for the preservation of the one-stringed mandolin
of Canton,” and you answer, It’s a regular
talking-point in the pub each Friday night.
And it’s then they decide to take you away.

 

Page(s) 39-40

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