Poetry Magazines - The best collection of poetry magazines online - Simon Armitage

Capricorn

Do not pour scorn
on the wintry Capricorn;
their smiles may be bland,
their jokes may be corny;
but they were born
on a stormy morn;
their thoughts are rand-
y, their horns are horny.

Aquarius
(to be spoken with a Glasgow accent)

We’re Aquarius.
Ah’m tellin yuh, pal:
beware-eh-us.

Pisces

You won’t find a whale
at the bottom of a pail,
but you could find a Pisces
on the high seas.

Aries

It’s ewes’ milk
but Aries’ dairies

Taurus

All beef, horns and testicles,
making his usual row.
Beef, horns and testicles;
who’d be a bloody cow?

Gemini

Gem’n’I
are an item.

Cancer

It was a canker in the apple
It trailed Adam and Eve’s shadows,
picking sideways
at mortality.

Leo

She was a sprightly jungle nymph,
Ever so pretty and twee-oh;
She went fluttering through the trees
And tripping o’er the lea - oh,
The lea – oh, the lea – oh,
The big nymphiverous Le-o.

Virgo

If you are awakened by your partner
in the middle of the night
and told there is a noise downstairs
and you should go and see,

Eleven times out of twelve you’d better do it,
and that’s not
just because the very thought of it
will probably make you need a pee.

But if your partner’s a Virgo,
Let her go.

Libra

I have a little  mollusc who so tiny is
he doesn’t even understand what sign he is.
But I know a most sophisticated zebra
Who’s a Libra.

Scorpio

My God – a scorpion!
Shoot it; or pee on
it’ works without fail:
another deadly tale.

Sagittarius

Some have a beard
That’s never been sheered;
But nobody’s as hairy as
A big Sagittarius.