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Finola Holiday

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The Landlady

“Yes, he can stay with you again if he must
although I find it hard to comprehend
how you can shoehorn two people
into that sardine tin of a room of yours –
but I must keep such notions to myself.

You should be aware as far as I am concerned
sleep is a rare guest who comes only
in the small quiet hours. When I retire
the cat on my quilt speaks seldom, the radio
dispenses pillow talk in a stage whisper.

You may not realise it but your giggle
comes through the wall like a hot knife through butter
round about 3 a.m. The wallpaper
begins to peel and a few flakes of stucco
fall from the ceiling. Sleep is unthinkable.

I do not want love-making in the next room,
happiness leaking through the plaster-board
unsettles me and opens the old wounds –
the gaps in the years, the cracks in the facade –
my life is jerry-built, the walls are thin.

So when he comes to stay with you again
you must giggle in whispers – I like to lie awake
in a quiet house so I can hear the wind
trying the doors and know I am secure
with no one to rebuke my solitude.”

Page(s) 45

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