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Helen telling Harvey a love story: The love story begins with him telling her she never looks the same. He sees her every day, sometimes more than once. ‘Buy sunglasses! It is bright out here!’ Things in the street continue. He thinks the time of day has nothing to do with it. She DOES look different. With the tiny footfalls of a moth, she lands beside him. There is no other way to go and he swears he has never seen anything like it. ‘Give it time,’ as they sit at the table and the waiter brings them food. During which, nothing happens. Harvey smiles. Listening to Helen when she talks like this restores the colour to his face.

   The song’s new arrangement excited Harvey. The old way of doing things was over. He would like to see the sea again, where the mountains are green this time of year. The doctors told him music was good for the soul. Every year people come and climb the mountains. Every year ships are saved from smashing on the rocks. An oil slick that winter had starved the local birds. No one expected things to recover. Harvey memorised the song. The new arrangement was good, but Harvey thought it would sound better in the mountains near the sea and he was surprised to find the early snow. They were equally surprised, the doctors said, he had lived to see the snow. Snow like this:
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   They stood beneath the fireworks display. ‘It’s a shame,’ people said, waving flags. ‘It’s all the same to me,’ they carried on. Hard-boiled eggs were passed around. Harvey smiled. He liked his eggs with more salt. Harvey couldn’t swim. People raced along the beach, their clothes in a pile, set ablaze in the sand. That was when Harvey asked Helen if she would marry him. Helen knew he had only months to live, but she said yes anyway. They sat quietly and watched the other people dance about their clothes. Helen put her arms around Harvey and said it would be fun. There was sand in Harvey’s hair.

   Harvey touched his face. He could not believe the door had struck him. He stood, looking at the door. Animals escaped while his back was turned. Later, he would notice and feel very alone. He had fed and nursed and looked after the animals. For now, he couldn’t understand the door. Harvey was particularly fond of bunny rabbits.

   Helen’s parents lived at the top of a hill. It was hard for Harvey, so Helen went to get him in the car. Harvey listened to the radio and looked at Helen as she drove him up the hill. Helen told him a love story concerning two people, a boy and a girl, in a hot air balloon. The boy and girl refused to land. They would drift and they were carried by the wind, but they would never hear the wind. The balloon carried everywhere. They would kiss and make love and she would point out the forests and he would point out the rivers and they would both point out the sea. Harvey asked if they ever had to land. No, she told him, never. Harvey thought Helen had a beautiful face and a splendid way of looking at the world.

   Harvey did not want to die. Harvey wanted to live for a long, long time. While trapping bunny rabbits, to replace those he had lost, an exercise the doctors said would help, he followed paths in the forest hoping to come across a wolf or even a bear. There were wild dogs, and badgers. The doctors said there would be pain and things would begin to fail. ‘Fail?’ ‘Eyes, liver. Your hands.’ Helen took pictures of Harvey. She framed them and put them on the wall. Here are the frames:
                                

    Harvey did not like looking at the pictures. When they ate together, he would sit with his back to the wall, looking through the window. When they were outside fooling around, Helen tripped and cut her knee. Harvey helped her up and washed her knee and helped her get inside. At the wedding ceremony, Harvey made the most of every step. Helen was impressed with the size of the church. Her family did not like the new arrangement, they did not understand the words, but Harvey sang at the top of his voice and Helen held his hand.

   Helen bathing Harvey. Helen talking. Harvey talking. Helen taking pictures of Harvey standing up. Harvey describing green mountains. Helen swimming. Harvey watching. Radio. Television. Windowpanes that needed cleaning. Helen cleaning windows. Harvey waving from the bed. Dogs. Cats. Bunny rabbits. Squirrels eating nuts. Young deer. Autumn. Winter. Rain for three days. Pain in Harvey’s back. Pain in Harvey’s legs. Helen helping Harvey drink.

   For the honeymoon, Harvey lay in the sun and Helen told him stories. Harvey drank a lot and would often fall asleep. Helen held him in her arms. Harvey’s feet were bleeding. ‘What shall we do?’ Helen asked. ‘For the time being,’ Harvey said. ‘Let’s not worry.’ Helen stands in line at the bank. In a line at the supermarket, the woman in front is purchasing chicken thighs and vodka. Helen signs her name. Helen cooks food. Helen draws water for a bath. Helen
waits to be served at the bar. Helen washes bed sheets and underwear and hangs them on the line.

   Harvey fell pulling on his trousers. People came to climb the mountain every year. Lying on the floor, Harvey listened to the clock beside his bed. The doctors said this would happen. Anticipation had been an art. Now it was a profession. People dressed themselves and earned a living anticipating the events in other people’s lives. From under the mattress, a racoon peaked out at Harvey. This life, Harvey thought, but Helen found him and helped him dress. Harvey told Helen not to cry. He had forgotten what he was trying to do. He told her, Helen was wearing a lovely pair of shoes.

   Sitting in chairs. Listening to music. Helen swatting flies.

   Cold again, but as you would expect. Harvey in his dressing gown watching television. Animals under the table and under the bed. Helen asks him what he is watching. ‘Wildlife documentaries.’ Harvey tells Helen there are men and women who follow tigers. ‘They map their paths through the jungle.’ ‘I have to go away,’ she tells him. The television switched off and Harvey looking at Helen, nodding. Helen tells him, ‘It won’t be for long.’ A cat eyes Harvey. The animals consider escaping while Harvey cannot watch. Once Helen leaves, Harvey does not turn the television on.
 
   Harvey collecting three-letter words arranged in sets of nine his favourites coming first:

          SET FLU HAT RAN LIP WIG POT LOW TOR
          RED TEE HOT FIN LAG TIP LOB CRY ROT
          FOR PIN TEN TOE ART FAR BOW BAR EGG
          LAP RAT KIN ALL RUB LIT CAR FAT RIB
          PRY PEN CAB BAT OLD BED TRY PIT LAW
          FLY DIP OFF BET TOP FOR RYE TON NAP
          NOT LEG TOE ONE SIX TOW ATE ARE TAP
          NAB NIB ROW TAR ASP LAB SIT LET OUR
          APT SKY HUT ROD LED TIN NIL SOD HAM

   Helen writing letters. Harvey writing letters. Subject of letters: they come and see me (Harvey) the dogs bark as they approach; children, when they die, return their eyes (other things too, but critically, the eyes) (Harvey); dying alone (Harvey); buying a hot-air balloon (Helen); they need big ideas at the Institute (Harvey) and he has big ideas about the confinement of animals. He likes her big ideas about hot-air balloons; saying nothing (Helen) about big ideas. She tells him: it was a love story; finding her father (Helen) at the outset, was young. In the end he was, predictably, older. In between he had no age. ‘Here we are then,’ he would say. ‘Now, how old am I?’ But there was, (and is, Harvey) no now, apparently, only
dogs barking. ‘Let me play outside. I will be back in the morning. When the sun is up. When it is not so dark.’ Mother brought my father soup and massaged his feet; finding Betty and Ben (Helen); the walk over the hills was long and arduous, or at least, further than expected (Harvey); Ben was the best at starting fires (Helen), we smashed windows only to climb inside. It seems a shame. It seems we implicate ourselves. Photographs (Harvey) were taken and handed around. ‘Should we pin them to the wall?’ ‘If you can find a wall!’ Photograph A: soup drinking, sun in room; Photograph B: swimming, smiling, clapping; Photograph C: laughing, clock face, 3:14 p.m.; Photograph D: (smudged) dark, black, table, shadow; Photograph E: orange; ‘Do not make connections where there are none. I am warning you, mother’ (Helen); the distractions had been better (Helen). Ben and Betty went to find better distractions. The distractions on the other side of town seemed easier to find. Finding Lee (Helen) putting out fires. ‘It would seem there are no real disasters, only better disasters’; they asked (Harvey) who’s world was caving in and who’s feet were so swollen he could not wear shoes; ‘Are there fires on the other side of town?’ Lee would like to know. They, Betty and Ben (Helen) speculated that there probably were, although they could not say for sure.

   It was quiet on the beach. The cold sea was calm for the time of year. At dawn, seagulls circled and called into the wind. Harvey was in bed with his eyes closed. Animals moved around the room. Harvey reviewed his three letter words, making a note of: YES AGE SAY HUB and ONE. Helen’s birthday was the nineteenth of May. New letter: It snows here (Harvey). The mountains are white. It snows. It snows and snows and snows. It snows like this:
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