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Poetry Library Southbank Centre - The Poetry Library housing the Arts Council Collection at Southbank Centre

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Suzanne Batty

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Say you took yourself

Say you took yourself to the ugly house
and found it locked
and darkness falling.
Would you wander in the rockery
planning planting schemes
dodging headlights from the road below.

Say you found a garden shed
stuffed with ancient tools
and then a woodpile
roof of plastic bags
floor of earth
comfortable enough.
Would you make a nest to sleep in
and patterns of the things you took

drugs, prescribed and illicit,
miniature penknife, blunt
travel alarm, whistle
the famous writer in print.

Would you wait in a sort of winter
forgetting horsetime
forgetting home
and the street you dreamt along
so crowded with burnt babies
and muzzled dogs
you had to walk the road
thinking this time this time
fate will meet me on a windscreen.

Are they looking for you?
No.
Are they following you?
No.

You can’t go back to cures and solace.
God won’t leave you alone.
God will torment you
even in the sleep of sleeps.

Will you take your begging bowl
and his malevolence

and go?

 

Page(s) 18-19

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