Eve Jackson
New house
Soon another season will visit and again
she will refuse to recognise it through this window.
It was yellow, the laburnum,
when someone moved the jars on her shelf -
raised shelves, hung doors to open the wrong way.
Splitting open a black bin liner one day
saw parts of herself tumble out;
tangled remains that were to trip her up, daily.
Chaos settled as fine dust over
'things she cherished'.
No amount of wiping or scrubbing would make them come clean.
Denied their familiar places
'things she cherished' wilted
no light as bright no shade as dark
no comfort corner could be found. They died in her hands.
Each day was a day she didn't know
suspicious of its ebb and flow
she stood on the edge
not wading in
not building a castle.
The sun, overgenerous that summer - an intrusive neighbour
dragging with it sounds that picked and touched,
invaded she gathered thoughts inward,
shut doors that flapped like ghosts.
There, unhurried, spread out her memories,
rehearsed past tenses in quiet dignity.
One morning she slowly unfolded her arms
stepped out in colours she had mixed for herself,
snapped off the first dead-head she came to.
Page(s) 13
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