Jane Kirwan
Attempt to Convey Alienation and Containers
(topic on A-level art paper 1999)
Kate asks me to help photograph carriages
of the older Northern Line trains
with straps and people hanging.
We visit butchers.
She makes me explain she will paint
dead cows, sheep, pigs commuting.
Men in white coats take her to their back rooms
slap carcasses, get excited over lights
with hearts, livers, guts.
She changes her mind.
We go down the stairs
from the railway at Gospel Oak.
She asks me to repeat
walking away from her
taking over and over the flaking walls
the litter.
At Bird and Davis
we had bought paint with gel effect
extra coarse with pumice to rub into the steps
but with a matt finish
she wondered whether jet black was dark enough.
She would soon be eighteen.
We’d gone to Blakes, looked at menus
resolved to have a seating plan
because relationships are complex
after all this time.
I walk away from her while she takes pictures
but am too slow
or turn my head
or hold the rail, apparently
like a drunken someone.
I reply that I will miss the mother stuff
the PTA, the parents evenings.
She says I am a sad person.
Page(s) 34-35
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