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Geoff Hatterlsey

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Index of First Lines

Aardvarks? Don't talk to me about aardvarks
A slim figure in a bright red dress, he
And Wensleydale cheese
At least, his mouth was open
He always washes his hands after pissing
He can drink anyone under any table and still talk sense
He eats bricks for breakfast, and his wife
He may be a gentle man, but he's no gentleman
'He's dead, you know' I say wittily
'Hold on a minute, love, my hands are wet'
I hold my thirty pence tight
I love you! I love you! I love you!
I needed a shave, then I was shaving
If the boot fits, put it in:
I'll not learn to love my little garden
I'll not plant little trees and little flowers,
I'll send you an ear to prove it
I'm in a muddle. My brain, I mean, is.
I'm glad.
I'm glad that I came.
I'm glad that you came.
I'm sad.
Indeed, he tried for months:
In the sort of building that has no past
It can't he true
It felt like a large lump of potted meat
It felt like nothing else on the shelf
It is a new month, August,
It is morning and the letter-box
It recalled that recurring dream:
It looked like either blood or chocolate
It's no use saying you don't believe it:
It's no use saying 'What's the matter, Darling?'
It was in Darlington, no, Sunderland:
It was in Sunderland, no Darlington:
It was worse, much worse, than the worst
'It's a bit weird' Nev said. hooked
It's along story, there'll be people to tell it.
It's as firm as a ruptured sphincter
It's as lively as impotence
It's as precious as mud
It’s as succulent as dust
It's as useful as a potato peeler to a no-armed man
It's the funniest thing since guillotines:
It's last night's playful bites
It's not funny, and gets less so
It's nothing out of the ordinary.
Just between the twenty of us, I'm sick
Like a bird in a tree in a poem in a book
Maybe I’m stupid; I know
My dear, this is what being a poet is:
My depression's without doubt post-coitus:
My head is not my own, and the banana
My view of the town is less interesting than sinister,
No. I mean yes. I mean
Oh! I don't know
One bacon sandwich tastes much the same as another
Or else, a headless plastic doll
'Scrub that floor!' she'd shout, and 'Wipe those tables!'
She calls me eccentric, because
She never can quite get as much to eat as she needs:
She's the most horrible person I've never met.
So:
So what:
Such a miserable, ugly, stupid, tedious
Swallow the key, I'll search you for it
Taking hold of the large,
The bedouin sedately
The breast things in life are 36-D
The Chief Inspector knows constipation
The connecting rod (big end) slipped out but
The diagram showed how the stud mounted:
The drill is louder than the radio
The dusting? The hoovering?
The ever-popular torture table,
The hardening mud I
The hoovering and dusting
The new Mr Barnsley
The sheep on the bridge
The sheep on the ridge
The telephone boxes, all five of them,
The telephone boxes, all four of them,
The toilet won't flush and the banana
The whips, the handcuffs, the leather masks
The woman with the split lip and personality
The Yorkshire pudding was good, the roast beef
There's always vinegar,
This is the new, some say best part of town,
Today! travel free, standing
Two men were holding a third upside-down by his ankles
Two smiles, cautiously
What do you mean, we've nothing to worry about?
What you need is more vinegar,
We all make mistakes, I've made more tham most.
'Yes, my poetry is fine, my wallet
You can't beat an octopus
'You mean next door's damn telephone?' he said.
'Your foreskin smells of sandwich spread' she said
Zebras? Don't talk to me about zebras
   79
114
16
131
50
76
26
102
113
43
15
84
18
81
74
124
110
45
71
122
69
83/
112
11
99
115
117
22
77
42
128
44
46
27
48
23
38
18
97
75
29
40
82
20
13
130
125
80
117
133
103
101
121
132
126
111
85
104
60
17
120
78
109
59
105
39
108
14
100
53
123
41
48
28
96
/21
25
116
57
90
95
52
36
98
73
12
127
55
37
56
89
30
98
24
54
72
106
87
88
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