Poetry Magazines - The best collection of poetry magazines online - Simon Armitage

Has rose petals scattered across the front door, and a trumpet fanfare every time you enter.
David Attenborough is on the reception, and James L. Jones (Darth Vadar) can be heard
over the intercom, saying: 'Welcome to heaven, I hope you're having a nice day.'
In the lobby, there is a television screen playing a winning goal against Germany in the last world cup – on a loop. At the bottom of the screen are your winning numbers for the week's lottery.
You are transported to your room on a gondola, on a canal of beer (from which you are allowed to scoop your glass), with tiny cherubs pushing the gondola.
Fire alarms are banned in the hostel from heaven. If there is a fire, it is put out immediately by liquid marshmallow.
Einstein has a room on the first floor. On the second you can find Hunter S.Thompson and William Burroughs. Margaret Thatcher is in a dungeon in the basement, for entertainment. All of your mates are on your own floor (the ones with money).
Every room is en suite, with access to your own personal chef, masseuse, and a matter replicating machine.
R2D2 is your personal butler.
Obi One Kanobi is a key worker, as is Wonder Woman, Morpheus and Xena the Warrior Princess. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is in charge of the dungeon.
Activities include:
Mondays 6-8pm – Thatcher torture.
Tuesday lunchtimes – Being applauded.
Wednesdays – Falling in love (am: platonic pm: romantic)
Thursday mornings – Setting the world to rights.
Friday nights – Clubbing. Transported by helicopter to the venue of your choice.
Saturday evenings – Karaoke.
Sunday, all day – Badminton.

And in the hostel from heaven, you are lulled off to sleep each night by your own
personal nightingale (who takes requests).