Amber Djemal
Untitled
Freshly made, woman-made skirts
Swinging in the back of the delivery van
In front of me, in traffic;
Remind me of woman’s hips,
Swirling and swaying freely
At party-time, fiesta, carnival.
Hips, moving to the beat of the music;
Rhythmic.
Brrrrr. Brrrrr.
Pounding
In my ears.
The sound of the Singer sewing machine;
A name full of irony
Because it never sounded
Like singing to me.
Everyday of my under-5 childhood
I’d sit in the little cubby-hole space
Between my mum’s legs,
Stretched towards the pedal
Just beyond me;
Her feet moving rhythmically
Up and down.
Brrrr. Brrrr.
Sitting in my child-world,
Wishing I could get her attention
From finished-breakfast time
To cook-the-dinner time.
Hoping she’d bend over me
And give me the loving care
She put into those 30p-a-piece skirts
And 50p-a-piece dresses.
The smell of cotton dust in my hair,
Fibres caught dancing in the shafts of light,
Pieces of material, in shapeless bundles
Transformed into beautiful clothes
For beautiful people to dance in
And love in.
This was my world until I was five.
I learned to be introverted, contented, alone.
I learned to live and dream in that small space,
To play with my dolls or bundles of dress-belts;
My mum’s legs brushing my arms and shoulders
As she worked the wrought-iron.
Dreaming that one day
I would dance and whirl and twirl,
I’d swing my hips and be beautiful
In one of those dresses at party time.
[3 July 1995]
Page(s) 41-42
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