Martin Hayden
Ben at Twelve
1
As a jazz trumpet squeezes out a tune
From the speakers, you arrive in the study,
Drape yourself heavily around my shoulders,
Asking about a phrase in your homework story
Which in fact you easily explain yourself.
You stand there, silently reading, and I wait
While those long notes expand and fade,
But you have no more questions, you are just absorbed
In the wolverine and the owl in the frozen north,
And enjoying me enjoying you enjoying it,
Your hand on my shoulder, your fingers absently
Pulling at my jumper.
2
Returned to us, lying there frail and remote,
Heart-beat on screen, drip attached to temple.
Like instruments we are attuned to your progress.
I put my face to the bars of the cot where you lie
Flat on your stomach with your head twisting up,
Your pale face surfacing in an almost-smile.
You put your hand through the bars, and your fingers
Play with tufts of beard.
3
Two and a half years later, your hair safely
Grown back where they'd cropped it, we allowed ourselves
A week away on our own. When we got back,
In the bustle of the room at the grandparents',
I picked you up. You didn't really smile,
But turned close to me, looked all over my face,
Reached up, and touched it gently here and there.
Page(s) 40
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