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Steven Blyth

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Promotion

"It's an offer you can't refuse." A joke
 
From my department's director. It felt
As though I'd really joined the mob, management

Almost as feared and hated. They can sink
 
Your earnings in a concrete overcoat;
Left a P45 for some poor bloke
 
On his desk so he'd find it in the morning,
 
As shocking as that horse's head in bed;
And when it comes to their meetings, what's said
 
Is governed by their own kind of omerta.
 
I told myself I wouldn't be like them,
So was relaxed when someone's lunchtime
 
Went beyond the hour or when I suspected
 
A sickie was thrown or they'd used the phone
For personal calls... Even when I was told
 
Kath was due her final warning for lateness

I vowed to go easy on her, be nice.
First it was, "This is hard for both of us...
 
I know your mum's been ill...We'll work this out..."
 
Then it was, "But the rules are the rules...
You must understand... And if it continues..."
 
Weeks later, a mob hitman on TV.
 
They asked him about his methods. He said,
"First, one to heart; then, one to the head."

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