Myeloma Awareness Open Poetry Competition 2004; Second Prizewinner
Reason for Eating Chocolate
It is difficult to think small surrounded as we are by sea.
There’s too much water, sky and weather to think of little things
like buttered toast, or a bee trapped in a shut room, or a red
balloon.
I can’t help conjuring loud words to go with the panorama,
like anarchy, madness and the screaming habdabs.
Turner would have done something with these plum-
purple waves, the beryline, verdigris breakers, ochreish clouds,
and charcoal horizon. He would have shown
exactly how sea-mist smothers and pearls
the white beach, how it dissolves the known world.
Sea demands constant attention,
like a child with a tantrum in a shopping aisle.
How can you possibly concentrate on low-fat yoghurt
and tins of Portuguese sardines in this infernal din?
The bay is on three sides of us, breathing deeply,
and although I might want to examine say
a tiny spider hanging from an invisible thread,
or lick a finger to thread cotton through the eye of a needle,
or enjoy the yellow stamens of a white camellia,
I find it impossible. I am too frail, too small to cope
with the enormity of ocean day in day out.
It is too big a scope. Even the clouds are huge.
You watch the weather come in over the roof of the bay,
the squall that crumples the water, anvil clouds telling of thunder.
There I go again, you see, it’s impossible to write about minutiae -
wheelbarrows, chickens, the cold at the heart of a candle flame.
A white pebble, say, that would be marvellous to consider,
but no, I would do better to produce a Wagnerian tale of afterlife.
If you keep a goldfish in a small bowl, he stays small,
but if you transfer him to a pond he grows to fit his habitat.
I am eating as much chocolate as possible, so I am solid enough
to be anchored to the earth, so the Force 9 north-easterly,
or a prevailing south-westerly won’t blow me over the cliff,
down into the greedy sea, where I’ll be swallowed alive.
This I find beautifully accomplished in its contrasts of scale, delicacy of detail, internal rhymes and assonances, its evocation of nature from the tiny spider to the vast clouds - and the sea’s grandeur. It is also great fun - with its imaginative vivacity succeeding in sustaining its overall length. I relish such exquisite phrases as ‘how sea-mist smothers .... how it dissolves the known world’. And finally the poised brio of the coda - impeccably handled - and the realisation that it is, when it comes to the bit (whatever the real reason for the compulsion?) a matter of swallow or be swallowed - with the closing couplet a perfect sounding (or rounding) off.
Stewart Conn
Page(s) 70-71
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