Poetry Magazines - The best collection of poetry magazines online - Simon Armitage

“Change it? A couch, control, and videos -
What more could you want? Unless you’re a wus.
TV and music together is cool.
You can still like one if the other sucks.”
“You said ‘sucks’, heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.”
“Shut up, fartknocker, or I’ll kick your ass!”

“Umm, yeah, sitting here day and night is cool,
watching angry bands in leather kick ass,
and chicks grabbing their boots - you know they suck
but they can’t show it in the video.”
“They do in the other ones, heh heh heh.”
“Yeah, like you’ve seen X rock videos, wus!”

“What do you call Prince? Who you calling wus?
The problem with you, you think you’re so cool -”
“Oh yeah, you’re cool all right, heh heh heh heh.”
“Shut up, turdmunch, don’t make me munch your ass!”
“This is like school. Let’s watch the video.”
Yeah, there’s nothing that sucks like school. It sucks

because everyone there screams that we suck.”
“Yeah, they’re wetting themselves to call me wus.
It’s better at home watching videos -
when we’re watching TV we know we’re cool
and with MTV we can kick some ass!”
“Yeah, like the Principal’s ass, heh heh heh,

kick his ass so it doesn’t kick back!” “Heh!
He says we’re both no hopers.” “Yeah, that sucks,
like I want to become a stupid ass
like him, a fat, nervous, bald, screaming wus
praying for retirement.” “But that’s cool,
you can spend all day watching videos

when you’re old and nobody chews your ass
for it.” “But it’s now I need videos.
Where else am I going to see chicks? Heh heh.”
“Yeah, what would they want with you, Mister Wus?”
“”Shut up! It’s cause I’m young. Being young sucks!”
“We should be adults, but not old. That would be cool.

When you’re watching videos, you’re not a wus,
you’re adult and cool - it’s old adults that suck!”
“Heh heh - they don’t get to suck, they just kick ass!”