Poetry Magazines - The best collection of poetry magazines online - Simon Armitage

They said he was larger than life in the beginning but much
smaller by the end
He said it was all a publicity stunt created through boredom
and media apathy

They said he was a tiller on the Ark and sought sanctuary
in the crows nest when Noah threw the Dodos into the
flood two by two
He said he passed out in his hammock after he cured
Noah’s wife of Noah’s impotency

They said he manned a satellite orbiting a broken star
powered by baking powder mixed with dried fish bone and
broadcast western pornography into Soviet mining towns in
the early seventies
He said he craved a sense of purpose and like everybody
else needed a show of recognition

They said he touts the winning lottery numbers on estates
in the north of England in return for traditional culinary
dishes and physical warmth
He said he saw the Midlands and felt blessed his ticket
was a return

They said he played Karaoke with Ted Moult then stepped
out of the room to refill his lighter and felt the vibration of a
gun shot as he skim read an old copy of Readers Digest
He said they had discussed plans to privatise the Northern
Lights and bring them by tug boat to Lands End

They said he forced Bob Dylan to go electric with the aid of
jump leads and ancient Japanese sound deprivation tools

He said he was out window shopping with Bianca Jagger
and selling plastic heritage dolls to Native Americans

They said he co-wrote monologues with Bill Hicks and
advised him strongly not to appear on the David Letterman
Show
He said he put Judy Garland on the stage but the need
was there long before the gold paint dried on her cot

They said he watched blind tightrope walkers become
human torches in Finland and decided that the circus was
his true vocation in life
He said a person lives by their instincts but dies by their
insights

They said he was a leading theatrical agent in the sixties
but sold up when Mr Finney bought a home bar, Mr Caine
a swimming pool and Mr Burton no longer returned his
calls
He said he gave Caitlin Thomas an old pocket watch from
the Prussian Empire to pawn in exchange for Dylan’s final
poems that were written on the wallpaper of the Chelsea
hotel

They said he was larger than life in the beginning but much
smaller by the end
He said it was all a publicity stunt created through boredom
and media apathy.