Andrew Everett
A true story
A month ago I was watching a programme on BBC 2,
it said that if you wanted to project a positive image
you shouldn’t walk about with your hands in your pockets.
So I stopped walking about with my hands in my pockets
and strange things began to happen.
Small children would point at me, then tug wildly at their mum’s trousers and shout ‘look, look’!
Business Women in wine bars stopped blowing smoke in my face and instead invited me to ‘get jiggy’ with them.
Old ladies on buses insisted on giving up their seat for me, then tried to sit on my knee.
Cute girls in baggy jeans cried out in a mixture of astonishment and fear as their piercings heated up when I wandered by.
Large dogs and their owners would get down on their knees, then ask in a quiet voice if I had anything that needed retrieving.
All this attention grew quite tiring, maybe I should have stuck with watching Channel 5, so I plunged my hands back into the darkness.
it said that if you wanted to project a positive image
you shouldn’t walk about with your hands in your pockets.
So I stopped walking about with my hands in my pockets
and strange things began to happen.
Small children would point at me, then tug wildly at their mum’s trousers and shout ‘look, look’!
Business Women in wine bars stopped blowing smoke in my face and instead invited me to ‘get jiggy’ with them.
Old ladies on buses insisted on giving up their seat for me, then tried to sit on my knee.
Cute girls in baggy jeans cried out in a mixture of astonishment and fear as their piercings heated up when I wandered by.
Large dogs and their owners would get down on their knees, then ask in a quiet voice if I had anything that needed retrieving.
All this attention grew quite tiring, maybe I should have stuck with watching Channel 5, so I plunged my hands back into the darkness.
Page(s) 39
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