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Diana Forrest

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A Better Class of Murder

(P.D. James has said that middle class murderers are the only ones worth writing about)

While reading about murder in some chiller,
We never want to see it come to pass;
But, if you are the target of a killer,
Make sure your murderer is middle class.

The underclass, engaging in their quarrels,
Lack conscience, and no guilt will make them shiver.
They do not agonise.  They have no morals.
It’s one quick bash and dump him in the river.

But educated murderers who drop you
Head first into a pit of deadly snakes
Will carefully explain, before they top you,
Their reasoning - however long it takes.

So guilt-tormented they are almost crying,
They’ll tell you why they brought about your death,
And quote to you from Nietzsche as you’re dying,
And let you answer back - while you have breath.

So never let the underclass come near you.
Then, if you’re sent to your eternal rest,
You’ll die content, without the slightest fear you
Have lost your status.  You deserve the best.

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