Poetry Magazines - The best collection of poetry magazines online - Simon Armitage

win the prize? In 1907 Miss Gertrude Jenkins did just that and it went all the way to the Court of Appeal. The competition in question was based on a limerick to which the last line had to be supplied. This was:

                       Said a certain young man of Dunblane,
                      “Little Mary” gives me quite a pain;
                        My liver’s so queer
                        I can’t drink bottled beer
     
Miss Jenkins [or rather her father, one suspects] obviously felt that her last line was better than the winners’ and wrote to the organisers stating her case in no uncertain terms. In replying they made an error. It could be inferred that actually not all of the entries had been read.

This obviously enraged our contestant’s parent even more and she sued for breach of contract, the argument being that the magazine involved [Ally Sloper’s Half-Holiday] had an obligation to consider equally all entries submitted by the due date.

Without going into all the detail the Appeal Court Judge [Lord Justice Vaughan Williams] threw it out. He ruled “It was sufficient to say that in his judgement there was no evidence fit to be left to the jury in support of the allegation.”

What was the fuss about?   The winning lines were:

   Life depends on the liver, that’s plain.
  and
   And Jamaica – its rum raises Cain.

[£50 each – worth having in 1907 – enough to buy a modest house!]

Runners-up included:

  
I’ve a fizzical weakness – champagne.

The last line supplied by Miss Jenkins  was:

   And as physic [‘fizz’ ‘hic’] I now drink champagne.

Judge for yourself!

Incidentally, this was a very successful enterprise. Entrants paid 6d and prizes to a total of £120 were offered. In the event there were 17,621 entrants. The prize money was therefore increased, as income totalled the princely sum of £418 10s.

[Note. The above came to light whilst pursuing a family history. It was on the same page of The Times of 10/06/07 as a relevant sought piece of information. A quick on-line name search of The Times [now available from 1785 to date] threw up 25 relevant entries ranging from 1813 to 1938. Fortunately the surname in question is nearly unique – [it wouldn’t have worked for Smith or Jones!] It’s amazing what computers can do these days.

According to New Scientist [18/12/04] there are four words in English which have no rhymes – other than scientific coinages perhaps [have a guess; answer below*].

This brings to mind the following:
 
                      A mosquito was heard to complain
                      That the chemists had poisoned his brain
                      The cause of his sorrow
                      Was Para-dichloro-
                      diphenyl-trichloro-ethane.

[And if you don’t get the point look at the 5th, 13th and 21st letters!]