Andrew Bailey
My Uncle Stamford’s Spare Room
ends in an infinite corridor, at least while you’re on the foot-square rug
that marks the focal point of the trompe-l’oeil mural. A magic dog
with its head hinged over like a Necker cube keeps its gaze on yours
as you move through a parallax trick. Anyway, making myself nauseous
to combat my ennui, walking over and around the focus,
in trundled Stamford claiming a new trick. I repaired to the rug, as
requested,
watched him saunter down the corridor,
and nearly gasped as he turned to admire
the trompe-l’oeil painting that hung on the wall.
So, impressed at this ability to become emulsion, I stepped forward
to applaud politely. His face fell as I left the rug. You old fraud,
I said, as his stature dwindled with the crumbled illusion,
you’re no more part of the artwork than I am. Shrinking’s nothing new,
you showed us that at Horrock’s bash. Pshaw.
He hung his head, hopped from the hidden stair
and sidled out through the still-closed door.
Page(s) 50
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