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Lorraine Mariner

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10 things

10 things to do while your boss
is out the office. That was mine.
Not that I have a boss
or an office at the moment
but like you I’m trying.

I know my audience. Deskbound.
I think I’ve cornered the market
when it comes to workplace humour.
10 things to liven up team meetings.
10 things not to charge
to the company. You could call
the number 10 my signature.
I aim for short and sweet.
2 clicks to open. 10 clicks
scrolling down. Exit. Smile.

I’m very aware that no-one
wants to be caught smirking
mid-screen by their line manager.
My wife once surprised me
in compose with a cup of tea.
Before I’d minimised she read
the word testicles. ‘What kind of
job application is this?’
It was actually 10 things to do
in the staff toilet.

I’ve not attempted 10 things to do
when you’re made redundant. Or
10 things you won’t ever do again
after reaching a certain age.

I doubt if the business school
graduates sitting behind that door
would see the funny side.
To them I’m just another
‘Thank you for attending interview.
I’m sorry to inform you’ letter.

I’ve thought of a first point though.
‘Become a virtual corporate comedian.
Console yourself knowing that your
interviewers laugh over your
electronic jokes.’ It works for me.

 

Page(s) 72-73

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