U. A. Fanthorpe
FWIW: The Language Speaks
HWAET!
Was brought to the island
Over bitter waters
By rowers wielding longswords.
Adam-like named a new world –
Oak, grass, hand, foot, house, sheep, sea.
(Rivers, having their old names,
Churlishly refused my choices.)
HARO!
Smote them at Senlac
The Prince and the people.
Taught them our fashions –
Judge, justice, penalty,
Prison and Parliament,
Fine arts of peacetime,
Gentleman, beauty. April.
HEY NONNY!
Found words everywhere. They came at my calling,
Names for the know-it-alls, arbiter, genius;
And for know-nothings, ignoramus, inertia;
Measurers wanted pendulums, axis and nucleus;
Thinkers craved curriculum and its callow offspring;
Doctors found bacillus, lens, equilibrium;
Travellers asked for omnibus. Got terminus as well.
HEY GUYS!
Shall we move the goalposts?
Try a level playing-field? No wow there.
Use a buzz-word, bog-standard wannabe
Sex it up? Stay shtumm? Oh, the great
Orchestra of English, played in every key,
Gobsmacked! Good hair day! Where we’re at!
In a right Horlicks! Braggadocious!
f w i w (for what it’s worth).
Page(s) 46-47
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