Poetry Magazines - The best collection of poetry magazines online - Simon Armitage

“Are you surprised?” He asked when we first met. “Well,” I replied, trying to hide any note of disappointment in my voice. “I was expecting someone older.”

   God turned out to be unbearably young and a right little raver. Forever rushing around, wanting to go out and visit His Divine Grace at someplace or other. Putting in an appearance, that’s the important thing, He’s always frantically worried that He might not be A-list any more. Never staying long in one place. “Light up a room and then leave,” He’ll always say.

   I was kind of hoping that by now He might have calmed down a little with age. But eternity doesn’t allow you to grow up, it’s always going to make you feel young in comparison. And, to be frank, there are times when He behaves like a petulant child-star, painfully aware that all His best work is already behind him.

   He’ll come home at all hours, crashing around the place, waking up the neighbours, only to rush off somewhere else. He lives week to week with that tiresome work-hard-playhard ethic. He never seems to have any long-term plans.

   And on the seventh day, it’s come-down time. He’ll be completely burned out by Sunday, like a speed-freak with amphetamine withdrawal. It’s supposed to be the day of rest but He crashes out really badly. He’ll sit in a darkened room, brooding, or mooch over his cuttings book, complaining that He just isn’t getting the notices any more. The sabbath is meant to be a time of worship, but it only
makes Him realise that His fanbase is dwindling and that someone or something is always threatening to become bigger than He is.

   And in the reclusive state, He’ll often throw a tantrum. He can get pretty nasty sometimes and boy do we get to suffer for it, but He’s under a lot of pressure. It’s not easy being a bit of a has-been. Early fame spoiled him and He’s been left to preside over the long slow decline of his career. But by Monday He’s up again, ready to do the celebrity circuit once more. I mean, what else is He going to do? Let’s face it, He’s never going to make it in the real world.