Poetry Magazines - The best collection of poetry magazines online - Simon Armitage

Sitting on a bloody red bus going nowhere fast, stuck in traffic, what an ass. It’s a pain sitting on a bloody red bus, nothing to do except think. Think what?

Everyone is glum, what a bummer. Do people just think ‘Ah well, it’s just the bloody red bus’?

We all try not to stare but we do it anyway. But what do we stare at? Looking out the window of the bloody red bus, you see people – who are they?

Where are they going? Nothing to do with us though, they’re the lucky ones. They’re not stuck on a bloody red bus! The bloody red bus reminds me of a zoo.

We’re trapped on the bloody red bus, us looking out – people looking in – it’s mad isn’t it!

I wonder what the driver of the bloody red bus would think of us if we all smiled, laughed and played musical chairs. I think he would be the first to get off the bloody red bus!!

Whoever came up with the idea of a bloody red bus was one crazy son of a bitch.

Did he know Red is attributed to anger and done it to prove a point?

I bet he is looking down on us pissing himself laughing.... thinking.... ‘that will teach you to get on my bloody red bus!’

Strange things happen on a bloody red bus.

How did someone manage to leave a wooden leg on a bloody red bus? Shit, how did he get off?

A bloody red bus is not a good place to propose to someone. You would be seeing red if she said no. Bloody red bus and a big red face!!

How the hell can you have sex on a bloody red bus?? The mind boggles. If you want the answer, go to the bloody Red Transport Museum. That place is mental. They sell bloody red bus underwear. Mental!!

Love them or hate them but look at it another way – the bloody red bus is still the winner!

The bloody red bus will still be there after we’re gone.

Think of the bloody red route master and you’ll see the point.

The tourists love the bloody red route master.

Try the number 15 to or from Tower Hill on a Sunday.

It’s like.... ‘let’s fly to London to sit on top of a bloody red bus’ – f*****g stupid!!

And they take photos of themselves while on the bus!! Mad or what! You can’t see the bloody red bus, Idiots!!

Two buses come at the same time. One’s a normal bloody red bus in front, the second – a bloody red route master is behind. All the tourists want the route master, so they miss the first one – plenty of seats – But no, they want the bloody red route master.

All excited they wait on it to stop, bloody idiots! It was full – it did not stop!

What’s the f*****g difference?

It’s just a bloody red bus.

I love them. I really do.

I went on a bloody red bus to Heathrow Airport. God knows why. Just wanted to sit on a bloody red bus all day. “Nutter!”

It’s not all bad getting stuck on a bloody red bus.

It can make you laugh.

Sometimes it’ll piss you off but at least you can rely on a bloody red bus.

It might be slow, but you can watch the world go by.

LONG MAY YOU TRAVEL – YOU BLOODY RED BUS!