Amnesiac
The mirror shows me a map of skin
Without reference points:
I have seen other men like him
And that faint scar on his temple
Means nothing.
The light behind me is as clean
As the future:
Whatever past I’ve had is splintered
Like a looking glass.
I’m like a baby just born:
No worries, no shame or regret,
No guilt about the things I’ve done.
The women I’ve loved have let me start again.
I won’t miss them or wet my pillow
With bitter tears.
Yesterday I searched my body inch by inch:
No tattoos or birthmarks, it meant nothing,
Like the body of any fifty year old man.
My lungs tell me I’ve never smoked
And my heart is steady as a clock.
I stare at my hands, try to recall
What they have touched, mended, broken.
My signature may have sealed contracts,
Warrants, treaties between nations:
I take a pen, fill a blank sheet with names,
Accuse myself of them, one by one.
I have this vocabulary in place,
This way of speaking
Which comes from nowhere.
They tell me that friends and family
Will be looking for me:
It is only a matter of time.
Whatever is lost may be found.
But when I saw that man in the dock
Trying to hand back his name -
Flashbacks to mass graves, flickering
White faces behind barbed wire - and
Witnesses accusing him across forty years,
I folded the sheet, found a clean envelope,
Posted it with no address.
magazine list
- Features
- zines
- 10th Muse
- 14
- Acumen
- Agenda
- Ambit
- Angel Exhaust
- ARTEMISpoetry
- Atlas
- Blithe Spirit
- Borderlines
- Brando's hat
- Brittle Star
- Candelabrum
- Cannon's Mouth, The
- Chroma
- Coffee House, The
- Dream Catcher
- Equinox
- Erbacce
- Fabric
- Fire
- Floating Bear, The
- French Literary Review, The
- Frogmore Papers, The
- Global Tapestry
- Grosseteste Review
- Homeless Diamonds
- Interpreter's House, The
- Iota
- Journal, The
- Lamport Court
- London Magazine, The
- Magma
- Matchbox
- Matter
- Modern Poetry in Translation
- Monkey Kettle
- Moodswing
- Neon Highway
- New Welsh Review
- North, The
- Oasis
- Obsessed with pipework
- Orbis
- Oxford Poetry
- Painted, spoken
- Paper, The
- Pen Pusher Magazine
- Poetry Cornwall
- Poetry London
- Poetry London (1951)
- Poetry Nation
- Poetry Review, The
- Poetry Salzburg Review
- Poetry Scotland
- Poetry Wales
- Private Tutor
- Purple Patch
- Quarto
- Rain Dog
- Reach Poetry
- Review, The
- Rialto, The
- Second Aeon
- Seventh Quarry, The
- Shearsman
- Smiths Knoll
- Smoke
- South
- Staple
- Strange Faeces
- Tabla Book of New Verse, The
- Thumbscrew
- Tolling Elves
- Ugly Tree, The
- Weyfarers
- Wolf, The
- Yellow Crane, The