Poetry Magazines - The best collection of poetry magazines online - Simon Armitage

Poetry Library Southbank Centre - The Poetry Library housing the Arts Council Collection at Southbank Centre

« Previous item
Contents of this issue
Next item »

Josh Ekroy

print this page

Lord Hutton's Report on Humpty Dumpty

I am satisfied that this is not a case
in which the Crown could have had any knowledge
that a notoriously unstable egg would hurl itself
from the wall it was ill-advised enough to sit on.

I am further satisfied that subconsciously
the King’s horses and indeed the King’s men
may have wished to reassure the Crown
that the position of Mr Dumpty was perfectly safe,

but there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever
to suggest that the so called ‘Dumpty Dossier’,
now in the public domain, overstressed
the stability of the egg’s position in any particular.

Turning now to Ms Liddell,
who obtained an interview with Mr Dumpty,
which he was not authorised to give, just prior
to his fall:   the vast bulk of the evidence

laid before me states categorically that it was
this very interview that destabilised him.  For years
a loyal servant of the royal household,
this extremely able ovoid was put under intolerable pressure,

in particular by Ms Liddell’s persistent and intrusive
line of questioning.  Clearly, much needs to be done
in refining procedures for press interviews with leaking eggs.

In conclusion, the cavalry is to be commended
for its efforts, which went well beyond its duty of care,
to reassemble Mr Dumpty.

Page(s) 22

Back to top