Adam Wyeth
A Viking Comes to Tea
He didn’t knock, rammed through the door, ranting
and raving in Old Norse; sniffed about the place –
then, gathering pieces of debris, proceeded
to make a fire in the middle of the room.
I had cream and jam scones all prepared, but knew
he’d be happier gnawing on the dog’s bone.
He didn’t speak much, what with the language
barrier; mostly murmurs and grunts, belches
whilst chewing, and bellows before he downed,
in one, the pot of tea. When it scorched
his throat and insides I thought his horns
would really show; but au contraire –
after his face went scarlet and he roared
like thunder, pummelling his belly like a drum,
he became strangely calm.
And beneath the forest of oleaginous whiskers
I detected a faint smile.
He began stroking my hair and feeling
the fabric of my dress. So I took him
upstairs and showed him my garments.
He loved bright colours, but most of all
he loved the softness.
I brushed out his plaits, shaved his beard,
and ran a hot bath. I prepared dinner:
moules mariniére, followed by sauté chicken,
ending with crème brulée. He looked like a princess
as he came down in my wedding dress.
I showed him how to eat delicately.
Then after coffee – listening to Mozart –
the beast in me guided his hand.
Adam Wyeth is from Sussex but now lives in Cork where he teaches creative writing. He has been published in journals in Ireland and England, and in the children’s anthology, Something Beginning with P. He also makes films.
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