Poetry Magazines - The best collection of poetry magazines online - Simon Armitage

No, We Haven’t Made This Up

     The latest Bloodaxe catalogue opens with Roddy Lumsden’s enjoyable account of the ‘New Blood’ tour. New Blood consists of Bloodaxe’s hottest young poets: Tracey Herd, Eleanor Brown, Julia Copus, Jane Holland and Lumsden himself. Why, the uninitiated among you may ask, do readers keep sending extracts from the article to Thumbscrew, begging the editor to quote passages verbatim?

     Equipped just with Neil Astley and a few boxes of books, the intrepid tour individuals lived on the edge: “No matter how many times Jane has used the ‘C’ word, when Julia says bottom, it is far more shocking. The word polyp brings on convulsions.” No wonder the Liverpool Daily Post called the tour (before it happened) “the poetic equivalent of the Sex Pistols tour of 1978”. Bloodaxe quotes more favourable pre-publicity from Blade (written and edited by, er, Jane Holland of New Blood fame). 

     Lumsden’s account evokes sympathy. He is, Bloodaxe states, the token man. Parallels with Paris, though implicit, remain inescapable, and end only with the difficulty of Lumsden’s choice: he has four women to judge between. As if allowing the reader a similar dilemma, the catalogue provides photos of Lumsden’s fellow poets, with helpful and not at all sexist captions: “Julia: Her bottom shocked”; “Tracey: Suspicious of binbags”; “Eleanor: A taste for young men”; “Jane: Not a happy bunny”. 

     Which of these poetesses inspired Lumsden’s “lovesick haze”? Gentle reader, we will not spoil your anticipation by revealing the decision of our latterday Paris. 
 

So Young, and So Untender

     Lumsden returns in the latest Poetry London Newsletter, where his review of Paul Farley’s The Boy from the Chemist is Here to See You ends with a flourish: “I have noticed recent, resurgent mentions of Anthony Thwaite’s contention that ‘we are too many’, but in truth, there are only ever a score or two of UK poets who matter at any time.”

     Confusing W.B. Yeats with Anthony Thwaite is an easy mistake to make. What really shocks is Lumsden’s ruthlessness: only twenty or forty UK poets who “matter” at the moment? These Young Turks are so callous.

Wanna Be In My Gang?

     Following Thumbscrew 11’s ruthless exposé of “poetry-stealing”, The Independent ran a spread on the story. With all the efficiency of an establishment closing ranks, some of poetry’s leading lights rushed to the defence of their friend Roger McGough. Their comic riposte soon appeared: “We are sad to see another article which gives the impression that poets do nothing but bicker over the small amounts of fame and money available. It’s not the world we know, where poets are friends, swapping drafts, sharing workshop ideas, imitating each other like the magpies they quite naturally are”. (You could be forgiven for wondering whether magpies do any of this, but never mind.) The signatories are Michael Donaghy, Maura Dooley, Ian Duhig, Don Paterson, Jo Shapcott and Matthew “poet-in-residence” Sweeney. It all sounds so cuddly. We would love to join. Please send an application form via Thumbscrew. Or do you have to hang out at London publishing launches to qualify?

     Having been a victim of “poetry-stealing”, Jenny Lewis (best known, you’ll remember, as one of McGough’s “students at Lumb Bank”) fired off a letter to the Poetry Society. In reply Siân Hughes apologised, explaining she hadn’t even known Lewis had written a poem. Oddly, Hughes changed tack when speaking on the record to The Independent: “I’ve (sic) just invited 30,000 schools to all copy it. They are not (sic) going to thank Roger McGough (sic) and Jenny Lewis every time they print the results. If one of them turns out to be Poet Laureate in 30 years time and his (sic) first poem ever was the one he (sic) wrote at school based on Roger McGough’s (sic), does that mean he’s (sic) stolen it?” Wasn’t it Hughes who used the phrase “poetry-stealing” in the first place?

     Donaghy et al. reveal that McGough is “one of the most generous poets we have”, giving “huge amounts of his time and talent to students of all ages and backgrounds”. Apparently, “this is not the road to fame and fortune”. We ask again: how much was McGough paid for his “poetry-stealing”? (A three-figure sum was given to another contributor to the Comic Verse pack.) You don’t bicker over the “small amounts of money” available if you’re the one who pockets it all.