Life is Shit
my brother said over the phone.
After thirty-odd years of being alive
this was his assessment of it.
I concurred, taking a moment to digest it…
which took me back to when we were kids,
sent to our room for being little shits.
Bored, we took an empty biscuit tin
from under the bed, my brother squatted,
dumped in it, I did the same, then inspected it,
our first science lesson: dissecting it
with Lego bits, finding nuts and chocolate chips,
taking it in our hands and playing with it
like funny clay or Christmas cake. Then –
the inevitable, my brother being the eldest,
dared me to try a bit – all mixed up now –
not knowing which was which,
I took a bite, how does it taste?
my brother’s grin filled his face.
I was too young to know the Old English
term from Chaucer’s day – but if I did I’d say,
like shit! Just then it hit the fan,
mum came in and saw my face covered in it.
Chocolate spread? No! My lips painted thickly
like a clown. Now we were really in it.
Much older, I’d almost forgotten –
but some mornings after the daily ritual
I get up – and before sending it down the pan,
across our hometown, through the river,
under the bridge where we played Pooh sticks –
I take a look at it and I’m reminded.
Apparently it’s good to do it –
my doctor said you can tell what shape
you are in by the shape of it: Long and firm
is what you want, small lumps or runny bits
you have to watch your diet. Which helped me
find something encouraging to tell my brother
over the phone. ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘Life is shit –
but sometimes it’s good to look at it.’
Page(s) 17
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