Dr Roget Treats a Patient
(whilst recalling that poem by Keats)
So tell, inform, enlighten me:
what’s the trouble, problem, disability?
(O what can ail thee knight at arms)
It’s my stomach, doctor,
I can’t keep food down.
I can see that you’re off-colour, hue, tint –
are you sleeping adequately, acceptably, satisfactorily?
(So haggard and so woe-begone)
Yes thank you, doctor,
it’s just my stomach.
Are you sure, certain, positive there are no other symptoms?
Don’t want to go off at half cock, *****, *****,* you know.
(I met a lady in the meads)
Really, doctor, I’m alright -
except for this constant vomiting.
Alright you say, indicate, affirm –
so why are you here, present, in attendance?
(And nothing else saw all day long)
I keep telling you, doctor:
it’s my gut.
Ah yes – I understand, comprehend, perceive you now,
(And sure in language strange)
take this to the pharmacist, chemist, posologist.
(She took me to her elfin grot)
Will it do the trick?
How many do I take?
Just follow the instructions, guidance, directions;
you can’t go wrong, amiss, awry.
(And there I shut her wild, wild eyes
And no birds sing)
Page(s) 36
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