Dog-tired
He was mad for her, this leggy beauty,
this gorgeous greyhound of a Catwalk Queen,
her silky skin was smooth as cafe latte,
her eyes were fathoms deep and ocean green.
“Don’t touch her with a bargepole” warned his friend,
“believe me mate, you’re just an idle whim”,
one day – capriciously – when she was bored
she “found a window” and she married him.
But all too soon, dismayed, he found her needs
diverged somewhat from his, she made quite plain,
she bought two whippets then a Yorkie pup
their marriage bed grew sour with canine stain.
She next acquired a smelly, pop-eyed pug,
followed by an evil-tempered Peke,
the grubby sheets were strewn with Doggy Chocs,
one night a whippet bit him: life was bleak.
He fled and wed a soft-eyed taxidermist,
who wrapped him in the duvet of her love,
she stroked the ruffled feathers of his soul,
they fitted one another like a glove.
He loved her – plus her rigid rule on pets –
she’d never let spoiled dogs usurp their bed,
she kept them in her workshop, nice and still,
glass-eyed and docile, stiff and stuffed (and dead).
Page(s) 43
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