Anne Murray
Jocasta
I drown in horror. Before the black hole engulfs me,
Hades, give me time. Let me remember.
Laius was kind. But an old man.
I was only twelve when he took me.
I could not love him.
As for our misbegotten son,
He never lay at my breast. I never
Gave him suck. I barely missed him.
There were no more.
Laius, not daring, was celibate.
When he was killed, his death was one more thing
Mounding a pile of ills.
Then this shining youth rescued our city
And claimed me for his wife.
So ardent, confident.
Riddle-solver, sphinx-slayer,
Toy-boy.
I was not old. We filled our nights with love.
He’d thrill and sate my body with his manhood,
Then nuzzle me, his head between my breasts,
Calling me wife and Mother. Fall asleep,
Foetus-curled.
Oh, husband, child,
Was our incestuous love so sinful? We seemed
Olympians, all-powerful. We did not, could not, know.
Now, even love is finished.
The Fates do not relent. This darkened room
Was Paradise. Now Hell stalks and snarls.
My looped sash dangles. The beam is overhead.
My mind faints ... It is dark ... dark ...
There is nothing. Nothing – except the Furies
Beating with scalding wings dismembering my mind.
I vomit screams –
now ...
Now ...
NOW
Page(s) 26-27
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