Brothers
They stand in the pose of altar boys,
the first fifteen, feet parted, weight drawn up.
Team photos. Collar and tie that they hardly ever wear,
their eyes steady on the moment directly in front of them.
A line of ceremonies, from christening to confirmation,
in the air of the church surrounding them -
all the way back to grandfather laying the stone, burying
his overalls beneath the foundations.
Standing as men in the family have stood
in rooms, in lines, in the front row pew. The women
listening out for them - a tenor voice choked,
squared shoulders crumbling beneath a dark suit.
How the grief will find them.
My youngest brother on a pub’s steps
in London after midnight, crying against
a mobile phone as if our mother’s voice were locked inside.
My oldest brother swimming out beyond the raft
in the dead of winter, swimming
against nothing, against the gap.
Page(s) 22
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