Jennifer Esrailian
Titled, I Have
I have a chemical imbalance
and a chemical dependency
and not enough money to fix either one
I have a doctor
and disdain
for hospitals and healthcare in general
and an alarm clock
that prevents me from sleeping
the 14 hours a day I will
if nothing stops me
I have a mother
who asks how I feel
on a daily basis because she’s scared
I have what runs in our family
running over me
and trampling my efforts
like a bullied school kid
she has nightmares
where she’s relayed very bad, bad news
I have endless comparisons
my efforts wrapped tight
around my inconsistencies
run rampant
with health hanging
at the end of a certain rope
squeezing my neck
holding hostages
ransom unpaid
and tears falling in unusual clumps of angst
and despair
I write down that today
I didn’t do much
so tomorrow I will feel like I did more
Page(s) 38-39
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- Second Aeon
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