Poetry Magazines - The best collection of poetry magazines online - Simon Armitage

THOUGHTS OF KARL WALLENDA
ON MAKING HIS LAST TIGHTROPE WALK
BETWEEN TWO TOWER BLOCKS
IN PUERTO RICO

not far to go now ...
must be
over halfwayaaaaAAAARRRGGGHHHHhhhhhh

CHRISTMAS IN
THE WELLGATE CENTRE

See those lights
they symbolise the birth
because
when the wise men came
they were guided by lights
flashing lights
there was so little room in the Inn
Jesus was born
in the disco.

DC-9

I seem to be preoccupied
with the idea of Death
sitting here above the wings
which move in the
“slight turbulence we are
experiencing at present”
I try to think of Statistics

but imagine the Starboard one
coming off

WHY DO ARTY PEOPLE OFTEN COMMIT SUICIDE?

(b) Because an attempt to portray life rather than live is a cop out

(c) Because art is silly and no one pays any attention to it

(d) Because art isn’t silly bit no one pays any attention to it

(e)

(f) Because there’s no money in art

OBSERVATION IN
CROLLA’S CAFE

It’s ironic
what with Scotlands track record
In coronaries
that the sugared doughnut trolley
owes its mobility
to the clever fitment of
hospital bed wheels.

HOW I WON MASTERMIND
By a Mafia Boss

On arrival at the studios
I decided that the other three contestants
“knew too much” and had them executed.

DISCUSSION ABOUT FREUD
OVER AN EVENING MEAL.

Husband: I think Freud made a bit of a cock of things

Wife: Probably just all ego tistical bastard like you

Husband: Why don’t you like carrots? My theory is that you don’t like carrots because they’re shaped like penises.

THINGS TO DO IN ETHIOPIA
Starve.

THE NEW CAR

She was used to Laming into Marchfield
switching off
and free-wheeling down the hill

I remember seeing her
passing the end of Hillcrest
face frozen in a quizzical look
she was headed for three parked cars
the salesman must have neglected
to mention the advancements
in steering lock technology
the brakes were probably
servo-assisted.

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