A Short Anatomy Of Dessert Ascetism, January 1986
So much as Sweetness does require, I
bear her tribulations with delight
thus finding something of the dulcet
in all my doings. -
Many times have I wandered rapt, drunk
through her greenhouses of pleasure
savouring whatever blossoms
suit the affection of the moment.
On the occasion of this particular
trial for the sole, the main course
was beef olives in a wine sauce.
The ecstasie of sweet torment was
soon to overwhelm me, but then
I did not know it.
Humbling like a juggernaut
came the Dessert Trolley.
The first denial was easy, as I
remembered that the flesh can be
easily counteracted by
the unconscious virtue of a sweet sole.
Raising my arms in the gesture of
pushing back a boulder, I commanded
the waiter to take the Dessert Trolley
back to the kitchens..
Five minutes later the Trolley was
brought back in. This time I was almost
persuaded to surrender (the desire for a
large portion of passion cake being very
strong).
The casters squeaked ominously as the
Dessert Trolley neared the table, &
with a commanding flourish the
waiter picked up the cake-slice.
It glinted almost triumphantly, & I
broke out into a cold sweat. How
could I resist in a moment of such
anguish? Only by the intuition that
in moments when Divine Intervention & Grace
are lacking, Faith alone must provide relief.
‘Stay your hand’ I commanded him
‘& take the instrument of perdition
back to the kitchens again.
A little later, the Dessert Trolley
came past again. This time it was
almost impossible to resist. As the
Trolley passed the table, I thought
I could denie it easily, but then
Temptation got the better of me.
I fell to the floor, eyes rolling. In
desperation I clung to the trolley frame,
crying piteous tears as it dragged me
across the restaurant carpett.
‘Is everything
alright?’ asked the waiter.
‘Yes….
take the trolley back to the
kitchens again. I denie such
earthly trappings in expectation
of the Life to come.’
I regained my composure & seat,
realising that I had denied myself
a slice of cake three times, no mean feat
to one unfamiliar with such rigourous penance.
St. Anthony would have been proud
of such a disciple.
So, as a reward I called the waiter back
& had two slices of the Alcazar Gateau.
In such ways are we mortals tested,
& in such a manner can the rigours of
self-denial be practised without
undue discomfort & hardship, bringing
Sweetness both to this life & the next.
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