Amanuensis
Driving to the hospital, now she knows
he’s pulled through, she permits herself
to think the unthinkable, can admit
she’s quite liked these hot nights
sleeping untouched, spread-eagled.
It even feels holistic to allow
herself now some make-believe
grieving; to wonder which jumper
she’d have chosen never to wash, assuming
his mantle, his tastes in music.
She smiles at the thought of their friends’
shock, not recognising his amiable
inventive invectives in her mouth,
wondering what on earth has got into her.
But like lifting the edge of a scab,
she can’t stop now. How did she miss
noticing that tree she’s passed daily
for a week could be one of his etchings?
In her mind she blocks in its masses,
and, like finding a name for a pain,
she knows she’d start painting
as he did. She can picture his studio,
dust thickening on his bric-à-brac
and herself in his shirtsleeves completing
a canvas she can’t wait to show him.
Page(s) 19
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