If Only
'There must be some mistake. They told me the train would leave at 18.30 when I booked the ticket. Now you tell me it went half an hour ago.
'Sorry Madame. I can't help you. We can't bring it back. The next train is not until 22.00.' What's to do? I ask myself. Then the internal rumblings made themselves felt. If only I had had lunch. If only I had come a bit earlier. If only....
Ah well, I'd better get something to eat. I can decide what to do when I've put some food inside me. I really hate this station. It must be the dirtiest and least comfortable in Paris. Now let's see. That looks a reasonable sort of brasserie across the road. I'll try there …
. . . Gosh that feels better.
'Excuse me Madame.' A tall well-dressed man - fiftyish, the type they call 'bel homme' – stops by my table. 'May I join you?'
I don't know what to say. You don't forget what your mother told you from the cradle up: Never speak to strange men. But this man isn't strange. His eyes are familiar. It's like looking into a mirror. It can't be...can it? Not possible...or is it?
'Please, Monsieur, what is your name?'
'But you know my name. It's the same as yours. Lebouteiller. Nicolas Lebouteiller.'
I start to hyperventilate.
'You are Josyanne Lebouteiller aren't you?'
I manage to stutter out a reply. 'How did you know?'
He leans across and fingers the elaborate gold crucifix I have worn for as long as I can remember, and then I knew.
The mistake didn't matter. I could catch the next train. Or go another day. If I hadn't missed my train, I should never have met my father.
Page(s) 17
magazine list
- Features
- zines
- 10th Muse
- 14
- Acumen
- Agenda
- Ambit
- Angel Exhaust
- ARTEMISpoetry
- Atlas
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- Brittle Star
- Candelabrum
- Cannon's Mouth, The
- Chroma
- Coffee House, The
- Dream Catcher
- Equinox
- Erbacce
- Fabric
- Fire
- Floating Bear, The
- French Literary Review, The
- Frogmore Papers, The
- Global Tapestry
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- Homeless Diamonds
- Interpreter's House, The
- Iota
- Journal, The
- Lamport Court
- London Magazine, The
- Magma
- Matchbox
- Matter
- Modern Poetry in Translation
- Monkey Kettle
- Moodswing
- Neon Highway
- New Welsh Review
- North, The
- Oasis
- Obsessed with pipework
- Orbis
- Oxford Poetry
- Painted, spoken
- Paper, The
- Pen Pusher Magazine
- Poetry Cornwall
- Poetry London
- Poetry London (1951)
- Poetry Nation
- Poetry Review, The
- Poetry Salzburg Review
- Poetry Scotland
- Poetry Wales
- Private Tutor
- Purple Patch
- Quarto
- Rain Dog
- Reach Poetry
- Review, The
- Rialto, The
- Second Aeon
- Seventh Quarry, The
- Shearsman
- Smiths Knoll
- Smoke
- South
- Staple
- Strange Faeces
- Tabla Book of New Verse, The
- Thumbscrew
- Tolling Elves
- Ugly Tree, The
- Weyfarers
- Wolf, The
- Yellow Crane, The