The Man with the Black Coat
Pronin said: “You have beautiful stockings.”
Irina Mazer said: “You like my stockings?”
Pronin said: “Oh yes, very much.” And he felt them with his
hands.
Irina said: “And why do you like my stockings?”
Pronin said: “They are very smooth.”
Irina lifted up her skirt and said: “And you see how high they
are?”
Pronin said: “Oh, yes, yes.”
Irina said: “But right here is the end of them. From here on
there is only one bare leg.”
“Oy, what a leg!” said Pronin.
“I have very thick legs,” said Irina. “And I am very wide in the
hips.”
“Show me,” said Pronin.
“I can’t,” said Irina, “I don’t have any panties on.”
Pronin went down on his knees in front of her.
Irina said, “Why have you knelt down?”
Pronin kissed her leg just above the stocking and said, “This is why.”
Irina said: “Why are you lifting up my skirt even higher? I told you that I am not wearing any panties.”
But Pronin lifted up her skirt anyway and said, “It’s all right, it’s all
right.”
“What do you mean, it’s all right?’ said Irina.
At this point somebody knocked on the door. Irina quickly pulled down her skirt, and Pronin got up off the floor and walked to the window.
“Who’s there?” Irina asked through the door.
“Open the door,” said a severe voice.
Irina opened the door, and a man in a black coat and tall boots came into the room. Behind him entered two military men, privates, with rifles in their hands, and behind them was the janitor. The privates stood near the door, and the man in the black coat approached Irina Mazer and asked:
“Your name?”
“Mazer,” Irina said.
“Your name?” the man in black coat asked turning to Pronin.
Pronin said, “My name is Pronin.”
“Do you have a gun?” the man in the black coat asked.
“No,” Pronin said.
“Sit down here,” said the man in the black coat to Pronin, pointing to the chair.
Pronin sat down.
“And you,” said the man in the black coat, turning to Irina, “put on your coat. You will have to take a ride with us.”
“Why?” Irina asked.
The man in the black coat did not answer.
“I have to change my clothes,” Irina said.
“No,” said the man in the black coat.
“But I have to put on some more clothes,” Irina said.
“No,” said the man in the black coat.
Irina put on her fur coat in silence.
“Goodbye,” she said to Pronin.
“It’s forbidden to talk,” said the man in the black coat.
“Do I have to go with you too?” Pronin asked.
“Yes,” said the man in the black coat. “Get dressed.”
Pronin got up, took his coat and hat off the coat rack, and said: “Well, I’m ready.”
“Let’s go,” said the man in the black coat.
The privates and the janitor walked stomping their boots.
They all went out into the corridor.
The man with the black coat closed the door to Irina’s room and sealed it with two brown seals.
“Out with you,” he said.
And all went out of the apartment, slamming loudly the outside door.
(Nov. 12, 1940)
Russia’s Literature of the Absurd, Danill Kharms
by Aleksandr I Vvedenskii (Author), George Gibian (Translator)
Published by Northwestern University Press, 1997
Reproduced by kind permission.
Orginally published as Russia’s Lost Literature of the Absurd: A Liturary Discovery
(Cornwell Unversity Press, 1971; Norton Library 1974). Northwestern University Press paperback edition published
in 1987 by arrangement with George Gibian. Copyright 1987 by George Gibian . All rights reserved.
Translated by George Gibian
Page(s) 25-27
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